Ever have one of those weeks?   A week you just don’t want to talk about and one that you don’t even want anyone to ask you about and you don’t want anyone to ask you what’s wrong but you want to blog about it to be sure everyone knows about it?

It has been a rough week.  I am really tired from everything and just ready for a break and oh…I won’t be getting one anytime soon.  No break for the weary   I wish I could say I can see a light at the end of the tunnel…I guess it’s there…I think I can see it…wait…is that me being optimistic?

Anyways…don’t ask me what’s wrong.  Just know that I am still here pouting.  Remember that song I posted about last week.  Blessings by Laura Story?  You can hear it by clicking here.  I had no clue when I posted that how appropriate it would be for this week.

I leave you with my favorite and most powerful quote from that song:

“What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of the greater things

This world can’t satisfy?“

Ian has one of the sweetest hearts around.  He can be a complete trouble maker and then do a 180.  And I swear he has the spirit of God in him!  He sometimes brings me to tears.

We have been struggling with some sort of allergy issue with Dalton.  We have suspected milk for a long time.  Lately he has been randomly throwing up and having horrible diahrea (sorry TMI!).  He’s had the latter for years.  So I don’t give him regular milk.   But I’m starting to take him off almost all milk products.

I didn’t realize how aware Ian is of this issue with Dalton.  Today we were sitting on the floor playing Chutes and Ladders.  Dalton stood up and suddenly didn’t want to play.  I asked him why.  He said, “my tummy feels wiggly.”  That’s been his cue right before he vomits.  So I quickly got prepared.  Ian sat patiently and waited for me to come back and play the game.  Finally we decided for Dalton to take a nap.  I was tucking Dalton in bed and Ian came into the room and said, “mom?  Can I say a prayer for Dalton so he feels better?”  I said, “of course!”  So I put my hand on Dalton as he laid snuggled up in bed and Ian prayed.

Ian’s prayer went something like this, “Dear God.  Please make my brother feel better.  Please help him not to throw up again so he can feel better.  God, please help Dalton so he can start to drink milk again.  We don’t want Dalton to be so sick so please please make him feel better. Amen.”

Wow.  I was almost in tears.  I didn’t realize he felt that way about Dalton.  But it also made me think about the way I pray.  Why not just ask God to take this lactose intolerance thing away from him?   One thing I know I learned, if you don’t ask you won’t receive…and I know the Lord heard THAT prayer!

Your coffee chimerical jingles are cute…but your premises are really off.  The son coming home from West Africa for Christmas and is enthralled by Folgers coffee?  West Africa has amazing coffee!  And the lady getting out of bed going to an aerobics class and then drinking coffee with her classmates after class?  Umm…no one drinks coffee after exercising.  Let me paint you a realistic scenario for a commercial.

Woman wakes up and looks awful after a short nights sleep.  Little children surround her screaming for breakfast and cartoons.  She stumbles into the kitchen to her cup of coffee and pours half a container of flavored creamer in it.  She takes two sip of it hot and then you show her heating it back up in the microwave later in the morning…because no mother ever gets to drink a full hot cup of coffee in the morning.

My opinion the best part of waking up are the days you realize your kids aren’t awake yet.

You needed to see more pictures of us didn’t you?  These were our family Christmas photos.  I have to give a shout out to my mother.  The shirts the boys are wearing were from my mom.  I am not kidding, when I tell you she must have ordered, returned and shipped to me like 6-7 pairs of shirts.  The first set had the wrong size for Ian, and they didn’t have a matching shirt in his size, so they special ordered shirts and then they came not matching, so they got returned she ordered another set of matching shirt, sent them to me and they were not matching…it was hilarious. She had more plaid shirts laying around and I had a few pairs too at my house.  She could not get two matching shirts!!!  Finally we got it right and these are the shirts.  So mother…thank you!

I am horrible with actually taking photos…I used to be much better.  I think I’m going to take one week a month and make myself keep my camera strapped around my wrist.  I need to document the cuteness of my boys!  They are super adorable!  And we are so in love with their precious personalities and odd behaviors.

And nothing is as important as my family.

We’re The Stinker Pinkers…and we’re not Mormons.

Sorry … that commercial has been in my head a lot…and you didn’t really think I could end a blog post without something a little nutty…

We are going through some odd things in our family. I can’t really go into it. But I will say that I have a peace about things, I feel super blessed but sometimes I get concerned and upset and sometimes I am scared of the future. Everyone probably goes through that at times. I know I have an eclectic personality. My readers are eclectic too Some are Christians, others are not. Many skip over my Bachelor posts…some only read them. It’s all fine with me. I post what I feel is fun and sometimes I post what is just on my heart.

I heard this song tonight…I’d heard it a lot but never really listened to the lyrics and it just brought me a lot of peace and a few tears. It reminded me that sometimes blessings can not come until we are put through trials…and we still come out saying “Blessed Be Your Name”. It’s a hard concept to grasp. It’s really a discipline to learn. This song really puts it beautifully. So I share with you.

I have written articles in the past about Stay at Home Moms vs. Working Moms.  This one was one of my favorites.  Last week on the Anderson Cooper show they had a segment on this.  It was entitled “Are Stay at Home Moms Lazy.”  It was interesting because I have been on both sides.  There was a recent study that showed that working moms are happier than stay at home moms.  The actual study I believe said Part-time working moms are the happiest.  I would probably agree with that.  Would I agree that Stay at Home Moms (SAHMs) are lazy?  No.   But I can understand where a working mom would think this.  Let me explain.

When I was working (and it was part-time) I had a rather stressful job as a Social Worker.  I enjoyed my days off with my kids a lot.  But they could be stressful too.  And I didn’t have a lot of time to get things done.  But I got them done.  I think full-time working moms maybe even part-time, have a greater sense of confidence.  This confidence comes from being able to get out of the home and interact with other adults more often.  To many working moms, a stay at home mom may seen to have unlimited time to do as they please and watch TV etc.   As soon as anyone actually stays home with their children they will see time is eaten up by the daily chores and tasks.  Not to mention, children want and desire “time.”  I spend daily time sitting with my kids playing, reading, working on handwriting or using scissors etc.  I did not do this as much when I was working because the day care was excellent and did so much of this with the boys.   But I use this as an example, because I think as a stay at home mom, many try to do the daily household chores and take over the role that a daycare would provide, which includes, meals, snacks, naps, outdoor time, crafts, reading, working on educational skills etc.  Does this make a Stay at Home lazy?  No.  Maybe a bit crazy for taking on the challenge but not lazy.

Stay at home moms do not have the confidence that working moms have.  SAHM always have to be defending their choice to stay home.  As I will in a minute   It was clear from watching the show that the Working Moms were confident and expressive.  The stay at home moms had to do all the defending.  No one was critical of the working moms.  We all understand why moms may have to work.  I certainly understand why moms need to work.  But few have the same respect for a stay at home mom.  Because staying at home to most people seems like a choice not a need.  That is debatable.

Do I have some boring days as a SAHM?  Yes.  But I had boring days when I was working.  The difference?  When I was working on boring days I could chat with my co-workers, get on the Internet and look up things I wanted to look up without a child interrupting, use the bathroom without a child interrupting, schedule an appointment, keep up a calendar and feel organized, or choose to sit and wait for things to pick up and enjoy the silence.  When I have a boring day at home with my children it’s because the weather is awful and we don’t want to get outside or  because the kids are being difficult and beg to just sit and watch Max and Ruby, and to top it off I don’t have another adult around to converse with.  Does that make me lazy?  No.  Unless I choose to be lazy.  I try to keep busy all day long.

This whole show though brought up the issue of Competitive Parenting.  I really hate other parents sometimes.  There I said it.  I have always had a really hard time befriending other moms.  I don’t feel like I fit in with some moms.  Maybe it’s because I’m too sarcastic and I’m very realistic.  I don’t respond to mommy issues the way a lot of moms do.  But it’s not because I don’t respect or like other moms.  I get a feeling from other parents a sense of competition.  Like the parents who are so busy because they enrolled their 5 year old in Karate, swimming and the children’s choir and they teach Sunday school, are on the PTA, teach aerobics and host a monthly cooking club for couples.  And I am at home in need of a nap.  I am too realistic.  I think overextending yourself as a parent is your own fault.  And to each their own.  But don’t make me listen to your complaints that you have no time.  So maybe I’m sounding a bit competitive or judgmental.  I do think there should be less competition in general among parents.  My boys will play sports and do all the normal stuff…but I may be sitting a little further down on the bleachers than the other parents.  Yep…I’m going to be THAT mom

Last but not least, why am I a stay at home mom?  Well…my husband makes more money than I did.  In order to have security within his profession we decided to be “mobile” until we felt secure enough to settle somewhere.  So we moved for a job for him.  His hours are random.  8-5pm, 10-7pm, 11:00-8pm, 12-9pm….everyday is different.  And some days when he works 11:30-8:30pm he will still have to go in for a 8am meeting for an hour.   So if I decided to work I would be solely responsible for arranging our schedules and we would not see much of each other.  Our decision over the last year as led us to a healthier family.  We see each other a lot more.  We don’t argue as much.  And we’re much less stressed!  Money is tight….but it can work if you’re careful. And we have to be careful.

So no matter what your take is on the issue…unless you agree with me you’re wrong.  HA HA HA!  Just kidding.  Actually, the bottom line is it should be about your children and overall family.  You need to think through what works for your family and what your family needs are.  Let’s all stop looking at the family next to us and comparing, judging and whispering.  Let ‘s all take a breath and stop. 

*Written last night…was suppose to post sooner but their was a malfunction

I have to say this before I begin writing.  I am tired tonight and am in a horrible mood.  Now what blogger do you know who would admit that?  So my writing may reflect that.  And I have to say I need some comments or I may not write next week.  Please feed my ego. 

Ok, it was the most dramatic episode ever.  Really.  Well…maybe.

They were in San Fransisco.  Ben’s sister Julia lives there and he met up with her and went through all the girls.  Ben pointed out a few of his faves…edited of course so I won’t review it.   He and his sister were cute together (not as a couple) they just have a sweet relationship.

Jennifer is the best kisser, per Ben.  Ouch to Blakely huh?

The girls were put up upon arrival in a lovely penthouse suite.  Where they immediately started hating each other.

1st Date:  Emily  “Love Lifts Us Up”

Emily is the Smarty-Pants PhD student.  He told his sister she was smart but really pretty.  I guess you can have it all.

Courtney thinks that well-educated girls are boring.  I agree.  Stupid girls rock! So  she made it clear that the date with Emily would not be fun for Ben. In all honesty wasn’t Courtney’s date a little dull.  She played dumb the whole date.  Oh wait.  Maybe she is dumb.

Back to Emily.  Who by the way hates heights.  Ben took her on a lovely date climbing to the top of the San Fransisco Bay Bridge.  Hmmm…thank you to my sweet husband for not making that a requirement for our relationship.  Back to being smart…until tonight I had no idea their was a difference between the San Fransisco Bay Bridge and the Golden Gate Bridge.  Good thing I’m not boring!

Emily was panicky going up to the top of the bridge.  I don’t really know why.  I mean what’s the big deal…just kidding.  That was really a bad date to judge someone on.  But Ben kissed her and she was suddenly fine.  Whoa.  Where was Ben when I was in labor?

After the bridge, they go to dinner.  Emily admits to online dating and getting matched with her brother.  eww.  They had a nice conversation.  Emily is obviously really real and intelligent.  But I just wonder if Ben can look past less-educated models and go for a real person.   Ben likes her…and in “real life” I think they would be really good together. But this is not real life.  But she got the rose!

Group Date:  “Let’s Cross Something Off Our Leap List” – Jamie, Rachel, Monica, Blakeley, Nicki, Kacie B, Samantha, Jaclyn, Elyse, Ericka and 1 other girl I can’t recall

So this date was basically about Bikinis and Skis.   They skied down one the street hills of San Fran. on fake snow.  There were a lot of people on the side watching and taking pictures.  It was weird.  And FYI…it wasn’t a date.  It was an odd “activity” at best.

After “skiing” they went to a really cool place to hang out.  Ben predicted no drama.  Oh Ben.

I have to interupt the group date with this:

3rd Date:  Brittany got the Date Card while the girls were on the Group Date

Brittany oddly was surprised and unsure about the date.  Brittany baiscally said she was torn and confused by getting a 1:1 date.  And for some reason…unknown to maybe even her…she decided to go home.  She decided her heart wasn’t in it and she decided to just go.  But she had to find Ben first.

Back to the the Group date:

Rachel and Ben during their 1:1 time decided that they were both “cool” and “chill” and then they made out.  And the girls saw them and cue…drama.

Kacie B. was jealous of all the kissing.  So she and Ben had a little talk.  He told her to just not stress and “remember their date.”  huh?   He likes her but he digs kissing the other chicks too.  (No I’m not eating funny brownies while watching this…just tired)

Blakeley talked to Ben about how she was hated by everyone.  And Ben encouraged her to try to make friends…but… then… Brittany walked in during Blakeley’s 1:1 time and decided to tell him that she was planning to leave.  Brittany leaving didn’t really effect Ben.  He did tell her before slamming the car door shut, “Say hi to grandma!”  LOL.  Ben said he was trying to give her a chance.  But it did freak Ben out a little.  Not over Brittany.  Concerned that someone else might back out.  Blah blah.

So after that…he decided to give the rose to Rachel.   Good decision.  But did anyone notice Monica crying in the background?  Werid.

4th Date Card:  In Brittany’s place…Lindzi went on the 1:1 date

One thing about Lindzi is she needs to wear a little brighter lipstick…just sayin’

They got to take a little trolley to their destination.  They stopped to get the smallest ice cream cones I’ve ever seen.  Mocha chip.  I guess you really don’t eat on The Bachelor.  Their next stop was City Hall.  They had a band I’ve never heard of (because I’m too old for this)  playing for them.  They danced and kissed…blahdity dee doh.

They had a cool dinner date.  Lindzi told Ben of the coolest way I have ever heard of anyone getting dumped.  She got dumped by her ex by a text msg that said, “Babe welcome to Dumpsville population you.”  Come on.  It’s mean,  but creative.

Then after she got the rose they went and played the piano.  She likes him.  He is “Ah-mah-zing”.  Ben really likes her too.  (But Lindzi…brighter lipstick)  She is cute and seems real.

Cocktail Party:

Jennifer who did not have a date had a little 1:1 time.  Ben did tell her that he thinks she is hands down the best kisser in the house.  And BOOM…Jennifer is falling in love.

Courtney remained Courtney.  She doesn’t like people in general.  She called Lindzi out for not liking people and making faces at people.   The girls think Courtney is weird.  The PhD think she has a personality disorder.  I would agree. Seriously, social worker friends, isn’t she diagnosable?

Courtney had 1:1 time with Ben.  And she did a 180.  She was kind of sweet and nice to him.  Ben really is attracted to her.  Really.  I don’t think he even notices her personality because he is so into her appearance.  There is nothing really fun about her…she is just attractive to him.  She isn’t funny.

Enter The Mystery Lady:  Shawntel Newton.  Who is Shawntel?  Think back to Brad Womack’s season…she was the mortician.   She apparently had met and talked with Ben before and liked him.  Probably at a Bachelor cast-off reunion. She decided to get on the show…how?  No clue the truth, but she claims all you have to do is call Chris Harrison.  sure…

The girls FLIP OUT when she walks in to find Ben.  They flip!!!  Shawntel goes to find Ben. Ben is shocked.  She interupts Elyse’s 1:1 time and Elyse is a little upset.  Shawntel basically tells Ben that she wasn’t happy that he was The Bachelor because she wants a chance.   Ben needed time to think and she was going to be at the Rose Ceremony.  If he gives her a rose she can stay.

Ben introduced her to the girls (and he hoped the girls would be gracious.) LOL.  The girls were upset and let Shawntel know.  They yelled at her, called her Brad’s leftovers, made her defend herself and they all talked about not accepting a rose if he gives her a rose.

That move of all the girls walking out and leaving Ben with Shawntel would have been AWESOME!  I would have love to have seen that!!!

Rose Ceremony:

Was it just me or did this Rose Ceremony with all the cheap dresses and bad hairdos remind you of going to a Prom in the 90s?

Shawntel was confident in getting a rose going in to the ceremony because she believes he has the same feelings for her as she has for him.  Shawntell really had convinced herself she and Ben were MFEO (made for each other.)

Before the last rose was handed out Ericka couldn’t stand up and almost passed out. This held up the ceremony.  Jaclyn was crying and yelling about Shawntel being there.  Shawntel, Jaclyn and Ericka were the last three.  It was a freak show. Ben decided not to hand out the final rose.  So all three ladies went home.  But not before Ericka passed out again and Jaclyn headed crying to the bathroom.

Ben walked Shawntel out.  And wow.  I have to say, she is one desperate Funeral Director.  She felt stupid and rightly so.  Everyone who has been on this show knows that eventually she could have had a chance with Ben.  Does anyone really think he’ll marry the girl he picks???

Finally, I have to say this.  Ben had a huge opportunity to see Courtney’s personality at the rose ceremony.  He called her name first for a rose and she was slow in accepting and told him something about not liking, “what’s her butt.”  She sounded like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.  But Ben still won’t see past that and Courtney accepted the Rose.  Anyways…just thought that was strange.

Next Week: Park City, Utah  and the claws come out!  I really wish Shawntel would have been included!

I feel like all day I say the same phrases over and over again:

“Pick That Up!”

“No!”

“Don’t Touch That!”

“Sit still”

“Don’t hit your brother!”

“No you can not have more”

“Pick up your toys”

“Be quiet”

“Stop splashing water”

“Listen…I said LISTEN!!!”

“Pick up the Legos”

“Wear are your clothes?”

“Don’t pull your pants down!!!”

“Where is your underwear?”

“Do you need to use the bathroom?”

“It’s not time to eat yet”

“Go play quietly”

“I SAID GO PLAY QUIETLY!!!”

“Get out of there!”

“Get off of each other!!!”

whew…

Then I heard today while watching an episode of the Duggars at we should praise our kids ten times more than we discipline them.  So my praises might go something like this:

“Great arm Ian!  You really whacked Dalton well!”

“Well you missed the bowl again Dalton but it looks so pretty glistening on the floor!”

“The arrangement of the toys all over the living room are amazing boys!  Those Legos will really give my feet a good massage!”

“What a pretty picture you drew all over my wall!”

“Your loud voices sound like Angels singing in a choir!”

“I wish I had the body to walk around in just my underwear Dalton”  (totally inappropriate but he does this daily!)

“You have such a healthy appetite!  I would love to give you a snack but you just had one 5 minutes ago and what a good eater you were!”

“You are so good at not listening to mommy.  If there was an award for NOT listening you would be the winner hands down!!!”

Sigh.  It’s been one of those days!!!